Fawning

Dear Seekers,

My next column is about the difference between niceness and kindness (stay tuned!). Writing it got me thinking about one of the lesser known survival responses--most of us have heard of fight/flight/freeze as ways the nervous system seeks safety when it experiences a threat--but fawning is one that gets overlooked. In my experience as a therapist and group facilitator, fawning is particularly present in groups of women (across race, culture, and socioeconomic status). I do not think the response has anything to do with sex, but rather how women have been socialized to be likable and warm to ensure all kinds of psychic and bodily safety.