Change

Dear Seekers,

When we desire to make life changes, behavioral approaches tell us to get in touch with our "why:" why do you want to buy a house? why do you want to work out? And while this is helpful in inciting the desire for change, it doesn't lead us toward it. One of the reasons why change is so hard is that we are comparing one fully formed thing (the path we are on, the lifestyle we lead or the relationship we are in) to an unformed thing (a new job, a period of aloneness, unstructured time, a new place). We do not yet know the road we haven't traveled and this scares the shit out of us. Many times, our response to this fear is to stay with what is familiar, even if what is familiar doesn't serve us, it doesn't require new forms of loss. 

Seekers, we all want change, but many of us don't want the deaths that come with it. We want to live a life of more ease, but we don't want to give up the accolades we get from being an overachiever. We want to have better sex, but we don't want to say no to the things that kill our desire. We want to be less bored, but we don't want to leave the safe nook of our boredom for the risks that come with excitement.